Felt
by CheddarFetta
Summary: Series of one-shots based on all the characters struggles, feelings and emotions after Mel's untimely death. Each chapter is a new character and a new emotion.
1. Uncertain

Hi! I still haven't gotten over Mel's death (and I doubt I will anytime soon!) and here's another story I was inspired to write.

Every chapter is going to based on a different emotion & character, dealing with how their thoughts and how they're coping with Mel's death.

Enjoy & please review! :D

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**Chapter One: **

Ruby Rafter felt uncertain.

Although there was sadness filling her families hearts, emotions & thoughts, little Ruby was completely oblivious to what it was and what had caused it.

She could tell when her Mum held her that she clung a little tighter than usual.

She could tell when her Dad held her that he rocked her a little more than usual.

She could tell when her older - and only remaining Sister-, Rachel held her that she whispered into her ear, and cuddled her tightly, patting her back more than she normally did.

She could tell when her oldest Brother, Ben held her he would cry more than she had ever known anyone to, and his chest would move more from the crying too.

She could tell when her other Brother, Nathan held her that he talked to her more than normal & whisper closer to her face.

She could tell that her Sister's boyfriend, Jake, held her more than normally and would take over when whoever held her cried.

She could tell that when her Uncle Carbo held her, he held her closer to his chest and more frequently than normal, put his face against her own, comforting her and seeking his own comfort from 'In the family'.

She could tell when her Grandad Ted held her, he would tell her more stories than normally, and he would ramble on and on when no-one else was around.

She could tell something wasn't right.

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The little girl in all her innocence, didn't know that her brother's wife, her sister in-law, Melissa, had been killed in a car accident.

At this age, she didn't know that she was never going to remember, Mel and her beautiful personality personally, and that she would only know her through the memories & stories that her oldest brother and other family members would tell her.

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There's Mel's death from Ruby's perspective!

I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, and let me know what you thought of it, good or bad (just be nice please) and then I'll upload the next chapter

Have a great day,  
CheddarFetta Xx


	2. Haunted

Hey! I'm sorry it's been a few days since I uploaded Chapter one, but I've been really busy with both life and other stories of mine. Anyway, heres the next part!

A big thank you too **aussiebabe290 **& **bubbles799 **for reviewing the last chapter! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

Enjoy & please review!

CheddarFetta

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**Chapter Two: Haunted**

_**Third Person**_

Rachel Rafter felt haunted.

Every time she closed her eyes, she could picture the body of her sister in-law and best friend Melissa, when she saw her at the morgue.

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That horrifying image of seeing Mel that night, just replayed over, and over again in her mind.

Every time she thought about Mel, she would think about seeing the white body bag before it was opened, and then the deceased Mel she totally didn't recognize.

Every time she thought about Ben, she pictured him at the hospital, looking pale and absolutely crushed when he had to identify his wife.

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_**First Person**_

Mel wasn't meant to die. She was trying to get pregnant and start a family together with Ben. It really made me ache inside knowing that my brother was so in love, so happy and was settling down with Mel, just to have it all taken away from them. It really hurt knowing that.

I would give anything to get rid of the awful memories from that night so I could move on and keep my good memories of, and with her.

Problem is, life isn't like that.

You can't choose what you want and what you don't, because if it was like that and was up to me, Mel would be next door either arguing with or laughing at Carbo, or kissing Ben right now.

I just hope that I can move on in life and remember the good things that I had to cherish and hold onto.

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Sorry that I changed from third person to first person partway through, but I wrote it at different times, and I only realized by the time I'd finished this chapter. I would've changed it, but it's almost 1:30am in Australia right now, so my brain isn't working and I really wanted to update tonight (or this morning now!).

Please review and I'll put up chap 3!

CheddarFetta xxooxx


	3. Sympathetic

**Sorry it's been a few days, but I've been really busy and stressed like never before! I think I'm getting on top of things, so chap 4 should be up soon after this. **

**Big thank you to Gennyxoxo & bubbles799, for letting me know what they thought of the last chapter & for their lovely review! Thanks! :D**

**Who watched Rafters last night? Another really sad ep, but very well done and acted. Can't wait for next weeks final! :D **

**Enjoy and please review this chap! **

**Have a great night,  
CheddarFetta**

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Chapter 3:

Nathan Rafter felt sympathetic.

I knew how it felt losing a wife, but unlike me, Ben did nothing wrong.

Mel's accident came completely out of nowhere, and even I was still in shock. If someone had told me that morning that Mel would die that night, I wouldn't have believed them in the slightest and likely would've laughed in their face.

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It all reminded me of earlier this year when I ruined the final straw in mine & Sammy's marriage. I knew the loneliness of waking up alone and realizing just how much for granted until it was gone. I appreciated my family & friends help and support, and I wanted to help my big brother through his hard times too.

Out of everyone else in the family, Grandad and I were the ones who would be able to relate to, and help Ben out the most because of experience.

It hurt when I thought about Sam, who I still love so much, but at least I had closure that Ben didn't.

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When you're in love, you never want it to end, but I was glad that Sammy hadn't left like Mel had.

It just isn't right that Mel died like that... it just isn't right that Mel died at all.

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**And that is chapter 3! :) I'm not sure exactly which others I'm going to be doing, so if you have another, less central fav character, let me know and I'll try my hardest to include them! :)**

**Have a good night & please review for me!  
CheddarFetta xxooxx**


	4. Angry

**Hey! Finally I got another chapter done! Sorry it's so short, but I've had a ton of homework along with other stories. Then there was writers block because it's hard not covering what other people have already thought/said/felt. Despite that, I managed to finish this chap! :D**

**A huge thanks to Got2LiveItBigTime, RaftersGirl94, bubbles799 & aussiebabe290 for reviewing the last chapter! Your reviews really mean a lot and inspire me to write more!**

******Enjoy the chapter and please review! **

**Chapter 4:**

Dave Rafter felt angry.

It isn't fair and it isn't right that Melissa died.

She was so young, and herself and Ben had what they thought was their entire lives together. Their future was snatched away from them so brutally and suddenly. It just isn't right.

Sure I'll be the first to admit that Mel and I got off to a... _unusual_ start, but right from when I brought those beers around to Ben & Carbo and we met again, she never made a deal about it and if anyone that I knew had to do _that_, I'm glad it was Mel.

She was a lovely, friendly and un-judgemental person and I was privileged that she was my daughter in-law.

Mel's death was going to leave a huge hole in our family and lives, a hole that her & her personality filled perfectly. It isn't right that there was going to be a hole left at all.

Rest in Peace Melissa. We'll all miss you.

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**Sorry it's so short, but Dave & Mel haven't had an awful lot of interaction apart from in beginning of the first series. Next will be longer. **

**Please review & have a good night :)**


	5. Pain

**Hey! Long time no update hey? I really hope you guys haven't given up on this story, but I apologize for the amount of time it's made me to put this up. I've been on holiday without internet and I'm switching rooms and I've had to make some really huge decisions to order stuff in before Christmas and that's taken much more time than expected. **

**Now onto the interesting stuff! I've got like 3 new story ideas for Rafters fanfics, so I've been developing & working on them over time too. One should be up relatively soon! **

**Also, we stayed in Sydney when I was on holiday, and I saw the address for the Rafters house in one of my magazines, so because we were there and my family also watches Rafters, so I suggested driving past and taking a few pictures on the way into the city. They agreed and we went there late in the afternoon. As we drove into the street, you immediatley noticed a roadworks like set-up & as we drove slowly past, we realized we were in fact wrong. They were filming! **

**We parked and jumped out of the car and we were able to stand directly on the other side of the street and watch. On set was Angus McLaren (Nathan), who had just finished filming a scene, along with, Erik Thomson (Dave), James Stewart (Jake) and Ryan Corr (Coby) who were filming at the time. **

**The scenes we saw weren't anything ground-breaking, just Coby & Jake walking past the Dave's van and Jake & Dave talking by the boot of the van, but at least I got to watch them filming! :) **

**Angus got picked up 5 minutes after we arrived and we watched the others filming and goofing around for like 20 minutes before they got picked up too. Erik saw us taking pics & watching, and he waved at us as he was leaving and earlier on when I was taking pics, James saw me and he posed :D **

**Sorry for the long A/N! Anyway, here at last is the new chap :D **

**Enjoy, have a good night & please review!**

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**Chapter 5:**

Julie Rafter felt pain.

It felt like I was feeling pain & sadness for both myself & my eldest son.

It was such a tragedy and shock.

I remembered back to the awful night...

I'd almost finished settling Ruby when Dave came into the room.

"Jules?" he said with a soft, but shaky voice.

"Mmm?"

"You might want to come out here."

I didn't know what was going on, but I knew there had been a knock at the door a few minutes earlier, followed by extra noise in the lounge room, although I couldn't tell what was going on as the door was shut, sealing a large amount of noise.

I glanced at Ruby one last time, kissing my little girls forehead, satisfied that she was sleeping, before walking out of her room to see what was going on.

Rachel's head was burrowed into Jake's shoulder and his own head was craned on top of hers as he rubbed her hair.

Carbo & Retta were standing in the kitchen, with Carbo's arms around Retta's petite shoulders. Retta was sniffling and Carbo just looking terrible.

Dave, a few steps ahead of me was getting his jacket, with an uncommon expression and damp cheeks that glistened in the light from certain angles.

Something was wrong and there was a dreary feeling in the room.

I didn't know what was wrong yet, but I knew I didn't like seeing my family and extended family members like this.

"What's wrong?" I asked oblivious what was lying ahead.

Dave walked over to me, wrapping me in a hug, but in a position so that we were facing each other.

"Melissa was killed in a car accident."

I gasped and felt my bottom lip trembling.

I was totally shocked. Just yesterday Ben & Mel been over here talking about their baby plans.

The baby.

_My_ baby.

My son is never going to get the family that he & Melissa had been planning for.

I knew the pain wouldn't have been anywhere near what Ben was going through, but it hurt knowing that he & Mel wouldn't get a family like Dave & I have, and treasure.

You always want the best for your children and want them to be happy in life, so knowing that Ben wouldn't get that with the woman he loved, hurt.

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**There you go! What did you think? **

**This story is becoming increasingly hard to write, because I want each character to have an emotion that is believeable, as with their thoughts, but I don't want to repeat myself, and it's hard thinking of new thoughts and perspectives of Mel's death. **

**Don't worry, I won't give up on it, it'll just be a challenge, that's all!**

**Have a good night & please review! It'll make my day :)**


	6. Torn

**Hey all, sorry about the long time between updates. Busy and all. Anyway, second day back at school and it was awful. The actual lessons, recess & lunch weren't bad, but I just felt awful and my aching shoulder was a damn nuisance to write with all day and then I felt like I was using it like a retard at work too! I underestimated the pain of shoulders and a bad nights sleep! **

**Enough about my woes. Sorry the chapter's so short, typing hurts but I felt like I needed to update this. Please review, it'd make me feel a heck of a lot better!**

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**Chapter 6:**

Sammy Rafter felt torn.

Between her head and her heart.

From the night her ex-husband, Nathan called her saying he'd just been at the morgue, Sammy had felt pulled in two directions from the emotions inside of her.

Hearing the tragic news, her heart wanted to fly back to Australia and join her second family, -the one she was closer to than her biological one-, but then her head kicked in and she didn't want to re-visit the past, feeling the direct pain and effects of her former sister-in-law's death.

In the end, Sammy realized she had gone with her heart –particularly when it came to Nathan- one too many times. Finding the biggest, prettiest bunch of flowers she could, she sent them off to Carrs Park, hoping her and her thoughts would be with the family, even though she wasn't going back.

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**There you go! What did you think? Let me know! Originally this story was going to cover nearly every character, but because the new season's starting next week, I'm thinking of finishing off with Ben and ending the story. Might try and fit Carbo in, but I'll see how I go. **


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